This week’s blog was inspired by the periodic and sometimes pervasive clouds of regret that can loom within and around us.
A few years ago, I was chatting with someone about the “woulda, coulda shoulda things” in life. This person eventually said, “wow, you really hang out a lot in the space of regret.” That comment made me sit up and think about how often I get stuck in the past whether it was a conversation I had with someone yesterday or a choice I made years ago…and how oftentimes this sense of regret is the thief of my present-day joy.
I was thinking this week more about the concept of regret when a friend happened to loan me a book she just finished called, The Midnight Library by Matt Haig. As someone who rarely reads fiction, each time someone recommends a good read I am reminded of how much I DO want to read more fiction!
So as I was looking for a quote to start today’s blog, I happened to open up the book and intuitively went to the back cover and there was a beautiful thought written from my friend who lent me the book.
“Life is not about what you did not become. It’s about what you could and can become and then living it.”
Does that resonate with you as much as it does with me?
The Midnight Library tells the story of a woman who feels let down by life and is ready for it to be over. Instead, she is given the opportunity to rewrite her story numerous times by going back and forth in time.
So it got me thinking about how we can try this as well by using the concept of “time-traveling” in our minds as a fun way to look at regret AND possibilities.
Speaking of time traveling, I absolutely love the Outlander series. I love the aesthetics, the Scottish landscape, the mysticism, and of course the clothes. And yet I had to take a break from it because it started to make me sad as I watched this woman go back and forth between the 1940s and late 1700s. The regrets, the emotional suffering, and heartache that erupts from living in two worlds was just too much!
As you think about your life, what choices, if any, do you regret?
When did you listen to your intuition?
When did you not?
I think it’s normal to look back with 20/20 hindsight and inevitably experience regrets. Isn’t that the ebb and flow of life? Isn’t it part of the human experience?
When I look back on my life regrets usually resulted when I did not follow my intuition. Why? Because there was this fear of whatever pain might erupt out of my decision. I feared the pain so I chose option B. (If you’d like to listen to a few personal stories around this, tune into the podcast this week with the same title as today’s blog. It will be released on Tuesday.)
If you can relate, my thought is we have two options. One, we can stay stuck in the ruminating and thinking which steals our current moment joy OR we can play a game like the one in The Midnight Library.
Imagine what your life would have looked like if you would have done “XYZ.” What learning would you have missed out on? Who would you not have met? What experiences would have escaped you?
I love my friend’s quote I found at the back of the book because life is not about what you did not become but instead about what you choose in this moment for the next experience… and there’s power in that.
Constantly going back in time drains your energy, drains your power, drains your creativity, and drains your inspiration. It pretty much sucks up any resources you could be using to activate your future right now.
And what is available to you right here in this moment is the opportunity to live.
Isn’t that cool?
Think about it… yesterday was gone five minutes ago. Last night is gone. It’s gone but right now get your engines ready because you have the power to really create something.
So let’s only do time traveling to the past for quick trips to simply learn what needed to be learned in order to apply it to today… and let’s let go of this need to linger in the space of “what could have been.”
Instead, let’s hold on to the notion that what is happening now is occurring in order to help us grow… or as Eckhart Tolle says,
“Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment.”
The same could be said about time traveling to the future. It can leave us drained with anxiety OR in small doses it can inspire us to begin crafting the life that suits us… a life that tastes like freedom.
This is the fun part. It’s the visioning and embodying. It’s taking ourselves six months from now, a year from now, or even a week from now and setting the stage for how we want to experience life.
If you think about how you want to feel a year from now you might say, “oh my gosh Meg I don’t know if I can even grab on to that or articulate that.” But instead if you were to ask “how do I want to feel today?” then maybe that is something you can work with. In my 30 Day reset for people who want to live more and drink less that is the main tool we use.
Do I want to have the bottle of wine and wake up fuzzy, grumpy, and tired… or do I want to have a mocktail or just one glass of wine and feel really good when I go to bed and wake up tomorrow? How will things pan out tonight? How will I sleep? Will I wake up refreshed or with a headache and feeling thirsty and foggy?
Time-traveling to the future in short spurts is really powerful because you are then able to come back to the present moment and make an intentional choice with the information you have from the trip. We’re simply grabbing information. How powerful is that?!
When you time-travel to the future to get inspired, you’re creating a vision for how we want to feel in your mind, body, and home. So whatever you’re trying to achieve, hop ahead and grab on to that vision with all of your senses and then just bring it all back to the present moment.
I am honored to be invited into your world each week.
Hop over to the podcast this Tuesday where I share much more on this topic along with personal stories from my own life and a new little treat at the end of the episode called my favorite “Lovely Little Things.”
Have a wonderful week and see you over in the Tranquility Talk Facebook community where I host a short (and free) mini-workshop each Thursday at Noon CST. Here’s the link to join.
Have a wonderful week.
Sending Lots of Love and Light,