Daly Gem: Why I Chose To Stop Labeling Things as “Good vs. Bad”

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I recently had breakfast with a friend of mine, and we laughed at how we “should” feel guilty eating the croissant… but absolutely were not! I think the self-judgment does more harm than the actual calories.

The thing is, I’m just over the cleanses and the diets…and more excited about enjoying and relishing life. As I look back over my life, I’ve gone on so many cleanses, I can’t keep track. Just ask my friends!

The big question on a Friday night was, “okay, so are you able to have a glass of wine? Or dairy? Or gluten?” Now, don’t get me wrong, I think cleanses work for a lot of people, and in fact, the cleanses that I’ve done over my life have helped me realize that I don’t want to eat animal protein because, well, I really like animals! They have helped me get in tune with what feels right in my body and what doesn’t. Dairy products can make me feel stuffed up and too much alcohol just completely messes with my energy and productivity.

But now I have the information I need and for someone like me who has struggled with body image and weight off and on my entire adult life, I realized that what has worked for me in the past (and by the way is a WHOLE lot more fun) is making food choices that lift my energy and are pleasurable… and doing it all in a more mindful and elegant manner.

Do you remember the book, French Women Don’t Get Fat? Well, I bought the book years ago and was lucky enough to attend an event where the author spoke. It was really a turning point in my life in the way I looked at food. I dove into her way of eating and living, and I will say, I lost weight without even trying. I remember having lunch with a friend and she leaned over and whispered to me, “have you been dieting?” And I leaned back with a little smile on my face and said, “no.”  I think she was confused.

I was simply choosing to RELISH life! Unfortunately, over the years, I forgot that special lesson of embracing the deliciousness of life and instead fell victim to the latest and greatest cleanse, program, nutrition drink, or diet.

I realize now that there was this energy of “good versus bad” with every choice I made in terms of food. What’s working for me now is instead switching to this idea of “high vibe” versus “low vibe” … and I am using it not only with food, but with people, thoughts, choices, decorating, and yes even the clothes I choose to decorate my body with!

So, let’s break this down.  In terms of food, I love a great croissant, but if I’m having it every single day, I start to feel low energy. Now, that croissant can be a complete high energy choice if I truly savor every bite… and if I do, chances are I don’t even finish the whole thing. Another example… yesterday with my tea, I was very much craving something sweet. So, instead of diving into licorice that ends up not feeling so great in my body (hence “low vibe”), I decided to indulge in a piece of gourmet toffee that a friend of mine had given me as a gift. That little piece of toffee smelled and tasted so good and in that moment was a high vibe choice. Why? Because I listened to my body AND chose not to feel guilty. Now, if I would have chosen to eat the whole tub of the toffee, that would be a different story!

Let’s move over to this idea of “good” vs. “bad” thoughts. You all know what I am talking about. Our thoughts have the energy to lift us up or to pull us down. So, when you start thinking about the thoughts in your head or even the words you are saying, instead asked yourself “are they high vibe or are they low vibe? Do they lift my energy? Or do they drain me?”

Here are some examples of some “low vibe” thoughts.

  • “I’m such a loser, why can’t I get my stuff together?”
  • “Why is it that this always happens to me?”
  • “I think I totally made a fool of myself in that meeting this morning. My boss thinks I’m an idiot.”

Now, let’s switch all of those to “high vibe.”

  • “I am moving towards organization and a new chapter!”
  • “I’m really learning more about what I want and what I don’t want.”
  • “Well, if I could hit replay on that meeting, I would have done a few things differently. Good information for me to put into play in the future…and I now choose to LET IT GO.”

The words you use hold power. Remember, where your attention goes, energy flows. You have the power to create more high energy in your body and in your life with the words and thoughts you choose.

Let’s hop over to choices and decisions we make. You’ve heard me say this before, but really, think about it, does the decision to do “XYZ” feel like a high vibe choice? Or a low vibe choice?

Another way of looking at it is, do I feel attracted to this? Or does this not feel attractive to me? Does this choice feel expansive? Or does it feel restrictive? Does accepting the dinner invitation feel like a high vibe choice? Does it make you feel awesome? Or is it a low vibe choice?

Are you with me?

And finally, you knew where I was going. Let’s head over to people department. We all have certain people in our lives who are either low vibe people or high vibe people. And let’s face it, sometimes we are the low vibe people in other people’s lives! Hopefully not too often though!

Seriously, though, think about the people you hang out with in your free time. I’m not talking about the people you work with. The people you choose to spend your precious free time with. Are they high vibe people or low vibe people? How do you feel upon leaving coffee or lunch or going to movies or events with them?

It’s not that these people are “bad.” They just are, for you, “low vibe.” Remember, everything is made of energy. Science proves it! We’re all energetic beings. So, it’s not a big deal if someone doesn’t jive with you or you don’t jive with them. Let it go. Don’t take it personally. You’re simply on different energy wave lengths. Maybe at that time in her life, Sally, who completely drained you, was just kind of on a low vibe energy vibe and you were cruising on a high vibe, so you just didn’t match up. No judgment, no criticism towards ourselves or towards anyone else.

I just love this idea of moving from this type of food is “bad,” to “hey, for me it’s just low vibe and not my thing today because it’s not feeding my energy.” And I love the idea of not judging other people as wrong or toxic or negative. Yes, I’ve used the term “energy vampires” (it’s actually the topic of our next Self Love Summit… click here for more details.)…and it’s true that some people do indeed suck your energy. But that doesn’t make them bad people!! It’s just at this time of your life, your interaction with them isn’t jiving.

So, I encourage you and I challenge you this week to pay attention to who you’re spending free time with…What foods are you eating? …And what are the thoughts you are thinking? Keep a journal or a little note card and list off all the “high vibe” people, thoughts, and choices you made that day… and do the same for the opposite. I bet you notice a huge shift in your experience on the more “high vibe choices” day!

Thanks for spending time with me today and if you’d like more good stuff, join my community by clicking here.

See you next week!




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